A guide for partners and spouses
If you need help right now, in the UK
Samaritans are free on 116 123, 24 hours a day. The veterans helpline is free on 0808 802 1212. If life is at immediate risk, call 999.
Your identity changes too
Service life often shapes the whole household: where you live, who your friends are, how the week runs and what you put on hold. When service ends, those things can shift at once, even if the move was wanted.
It is normal to feel relief and loss at the same time. Feeling unsettled is not a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship.
Things worth noticing
Who you were before service life, and which parts of that you want back.
Which routines, roles and friendships came from the forces community, and which you want to keep.
How you both talk about the change. You may be adjusting at different speeds, and that is common.
Small steps that help
Name one thing that belongs to you, not to the service or to your partner's next job, and give it time each week.
Agree a regular, short check-in with your partner about how the change is going for each of you.
Look for community outside the old network, such as a class, a volunteer role or a local group.
Where AURIS can help
The free AURIS courses are self-paced and start with who you are, not what you do. The Military Families Transition Programme is written for partners and families. You can also print free guides and checklists.
AURIS is not a crisis service or therapy. If you are not sure where to start, contact us and we will reply within two working days.